I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
