I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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