I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
