you didnt know i had herpes?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
