it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
