Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
