You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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