ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
