I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Drake has all the answers
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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