Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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