Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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