she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
