in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
