My room smells like vodka and shame
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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