Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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