My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
