why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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