he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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