Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
