Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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