you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize