farters have to be the big spoon...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
