Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
