FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
