I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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