he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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