Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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