How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
