hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize