Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
