yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
