Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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