There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
