so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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