Who did Billy Mays play for?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
