he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
