just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
your room smells of hookers.
And success
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
