he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize