Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
