I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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