OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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