Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
