just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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