I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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