Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
