im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i think im in europe. pls send help
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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