So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
