There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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