You're my little dorito
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
