her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm bleeding and have questions
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize