i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
