Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
