I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
