I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Randomize
