I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
if i can run in heels then i can drive
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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