in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
