if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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