I'm really into asian looking animals
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
