im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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