He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
