My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
