i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize